| The Odessy: Car-Trek |
[Jul. 21st, 2006|10:18 am] |
Stardate 19 July, 2006. The Captain and crew of the SS Hoopty-hardcore dock in the maintenance bay of the Circuit city space station. The di-lithium crystals nearly depleted, Captain John shuts down the main engines and debarks for the repair counter. A slimy Klingon with an attitude feebly attempts to dissuade John of his objective, but the fearless Captain would hear none of it. He had to commandeer the internal navigation system and shield generator of the condemned starship he had just docked, that he might be rid of the vessel and neer have to see it again. Captain John would have none of the Klingons guff, and finally shoved the piloting device into the hand of the puny alien, and stomped off angrily into the hanger of Circuit City. The worthless peon had said that all the maintenance work would be charge free, and done in a timely manner when the good Captain had spoke with him over telecommunication during the hyper-drive journey. 4 hours timely indeed! With the junker ship docked and queued in line for service, the Captain and his first mate made for the holo-deck and beamed down to the surface to WALK back to Captain Johns berthing.
The first mate decided not to inform Captain John that they could, while in queue, pilot the ship home and return with both the junker AND Captain Johns Star Destroyer, but thought better of it, since Captain John would not like being told such an idea unless he was the one to think of it that, and the first mate figured Captain John could use the exercise. Many times after their departure into the harsh, humid, barren terrain of Fat-too-een, did Captain John attempt to hail his friend the Vulcan, Mister Scott. Also, many tmes did he attempt communication with his home planets Reverend, alas, all communication lines were down, and the Captain bore his hefty burden and trudged on, his first mate in following loyally. The sun beat down on the duo, and many times did the god Captain collapse from lack of heat and exposure to the strange yellow sun. There were times the first mate doubted the Captain would make it to his abode, and that the first mate would have to acquire a trap and drag the felled giant on it all the way to his house, distant yet, over the horizon. The pair trudged on, until the sun was low in the sky, and shone brightly into the eyes of the weary men. Just as they glimpsed the air-conditioned safe heaven of the Willis stead, a grim song echo-ed in their ears. Onnnnneeee laaaassssst carrrrrresssssss Was this the end?!?!?!
Mister Funk, in the voice of Bill Lumberg, was hailing John on his portable communications device! The captain hurriedly opened the sweat-drenched object and shouted into it Scotty, youre just in time! Wars over, turns out youre the BIIIIGGGG hero! Where were you two hours ago when we were dying of heat stroke in the wilderness?
Errrr Ummmm yeah, TPS reports, cutting the terra-firm grass Capin.
Well, whatever hedges youve had your nose in, how about you keep you damned comms device on at al times in case your Captain needs you instead of thinking with your dowsing rod!?!? the captain angrily replied. I wont forget this, Mister Scott, John growled as he shut off communications.
The dilapidated duo arrived back at the Willis homestead in time to refuel at the Power aid rejuvenation station and bask in some much deserved climate conditioning. Minutes later, General Willis, Johns father, stormed through the door with the rogue owner of the jalopy that Captain John had piloted to the far-off Circuit City. The uneasy peace between General Willis and his son soon broke when the Klingons visage appeared on the Generals wall, reporting that the navigation device and shield generator had been successfully removed, but that there would be a $150 dollar charge instead of the previously negotiated free removal. The general, so enraged by this, Rode his supersonic speeder-bike across the barren wastelands to the Circuit City port and proceeded to chew the Klingon a new vocabularys wide asshole. This unfortuantly left the deviant rebel owner of the condemned ship, Captain John, and his first mate in a depressing murk. All knew that there would be needed a number of pilots for the vessels at Circuit City at least equal to the number of vessels docked therein that must be returned by evening. General Willis rage and lack of foresight had made it necessary for Captain John and the rebel to venture together to the port. This understandably upset Captain John, as he had planned on dining on fine space-chicken that thr first mate would be preparing in bulk to celebrate the successful trek home. Food would have to wait, Captain John never sleeps while fail is aloof!!!
~fin. |
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